an impoverished youth pastor

i did not grow up within the united methodist expression of the "way of Jesus". Words like advent, lent, and good friday were reserved for my catholic friends. i am not sure i saw anyone with ash on their forehead until i was 22 years old. this is my way of confessing my novice stature when it comes to lent. i am still "getting it", or perhaps it is eventually "getting me". i had heard people state (or complain) about giving something up for lent. i wondered why they would do this. why is lent so painful? along the way i have discovered that at least for me, lent is a way for me to set aside what i have in abundance so I can be more aware of the things in which I am impoverished. i am making more room within the space of my soul. i do find that the things which i have crammed into my life in great measure are not ultimately making me more like Jesus (or what might be as much God's intent, more like Matt). when i wonder why God seems so distant at times, 40 sunrises of lent cause me to consider the things which may be stiff-arming God's approach on my life. are my calendar, my anxiety, my stuff, my pride, my jealousy, my lack of contentment, my struggle for control and self-sufficiency creating God-proof bunkers where i am often content to huddle in, hoping for a divine flare from the outside? when i set aside part of my life during lent i am more awake to the things which i do not possess, the places of my poverty. i realize how much i lack God's voice in my life, and the rest of grateful contentment, and the joy of seemingly small, but significantly holy moments. when it comes to these things i find that i have holes in my pockets, and a negative balance. im famished for these things. i am malnourished. it is during lent that i cling to Jesus' words that those who hunger and thirst after righteousness will be filled. i used to think that those in this category were the most devout, always wanting righteousness. however, i have found that those who hunger and thirst after something, do so because they are dying due to the lack of it. so if i can stop gorging myself for 40 days on the empty calories of busyness, loudness, activity, more, and most, perhaps i can trade my beggar's bowl in for a stomach full of peace, hope, love, joy, wonder, and promise. i would love to hear what you are setting aside for lent in order to make room for the things in which you find yourself impoverished. you don't have to state your name, so you can fast anonymously, but we would love to hear about your journey this lent. hit the comment button below this blog to leave your thoughts...