doing differently in order to make a difference?

i need to be honest about a fear i have. it is a fear i share with many other youth ministry professionals within the local church context. we wonder whether what we do is creating event-attenders or Jesus-followers. it is an important question because obviously the mission of the united methodist tribe is not to make event-attenders, but instead to "make disciples of Jesus for the transformation of the world". current data suggests that a great majority of adolescents, despite our hard work in youth ministry, are not continuing a journey of faith within the local church once they graduate from high school. According to statistics in Thom Rainer's new book Essential Church?: Reclaiming a Generation of Dropouts, 70% of youth will leave church by the time they are 22. (Statistic from pre-release review by Steve Murrell)
According to Barna, 80% will be disengaged by the time they are 29. there have also been significant studies done which suggest that those involved in church youth ministries do not by-and-large make different decisions than their peers who are uninvolved, when it comes to issues of sexuality, substance abuse, self-mutilation, etc. i don't share this information because i am an alarmist. but i do share it because i believe it calls for us to ask some very meaningful questions, some hard questions, some dangerous questions.
This past Sunday afternoon our adult and student leadership teams met for some planning and conversation. We engaged in an exercise where we discussed the following questions: "what do teenagers think of our group, who are not part of it?" "what do we want them to think/believe about us?" and "if we were to shut down the youth ministry tomorrow, who would miss us besides those who attend our events?". This provided us with some great conversation about who we wanted to be as a group and what influence we desired to have in the lives of others and in the atlanta/decatur community as a whole. another prompt that was offered to generate thought was "i can tell students among us are becoming better followers of Jesus because i see..." When that question was asked, a student responded that they were disheartened that she saw a large gulf between the ways students acted while on church grounds, and the way they chose to live elsewhere. we talked a little about what it meant to have an integrated faith, to embrace the same values and life pattern in all areas of who we are. in nearly 14 years of being involved in youth ministry in either a volunteer or paid capacity i have had the same disheartening awareness. now i want to stop and say that while it seems to be the rule, there are exceptions. i do observe real life-change and do experience students passionately committing themselves to the way of Jesus. that element is not missing, just rare. next week i plan on sharing why i feel this occurs and what we need to do to change directions. my point in beginning a blog this year was to open up a wider dialogue regarding youth ministry in the local church and how we might more faithfully become followers of Jesus here at Oak Grove. i would love if those who are interested in this conversation would post their insights, observations, and questions as well. Master Jesus said that where 2 or 3 are gathered in his name that he would be in the midst of that gathering. he never said it couldn't be a virtual gathering...